"Cyber-bullying?! ...is that some kind of robot that picks on small kids?"

That's what my nine year old asked when I first tried to warn him about it. So, like any good parent, I started at the beginning with educating him on the topic.

I quickly explained that cyber-bullying is just bullying that is carried out online in some way. Places it would happen are:

• email,
• chat rooms,
• discussion groups,
• Facebook,
• MySpace,
• instant messaging (Skype, Yahoo chat, ICQ, etc.).

It can also include bullying through cell phones via text messaging. I told him that it was a very serious matter today that can affect any child’s life, especially when they're right about his age.

It's important for you to take the time to explain what cyber-bullying is and what it means to your child. Awareness is the first step to prevention. Then all you need to do is follow the checklist below and be sure to take part in your child’s life and foster a close relationship with them. Then if something should go wrong, not only will you notice, but your child will feel comfortable coming to you with their problems. Use the following ten tips to protect your child from the being the victim of a cyber-bully.

1. Get online
   The best way to see what’s going on in your child’s life is to join the same sites they do. Many sites like Myspace and Facebook display everything someone says to another person unless it’s a private message. Join these sites and become friends with your child and use it to, not only watch what they’re up to, but be involved in a common interest. Hey, you might even have fun!
2. Know their friends
   Learn who your child hangs out with. It’s impossible to tell your kids who they can and can’t be friends with, but you can still tell them you don’t approve. Getting to know your child’s friends helps you better understand what’s going on in your child’s life. This can also help you spot kids who may be bullies or the type who peer pressure your child into behaving inappropriately – perhaps even to the point of becoming a cyber-bully!
3. Listen to your child
   If your child mentions any incidence of cyber-bullying, or any other inappropriate Internet activity, make sure you take the time to listen to what they say. Be sure to create an environment for them to feel as though they can be open and honest without judgment from you.
4. Educate yourself and your child
   Read our article on how to tell if your child is being cyber-bullied or if your child is a cyber-bully. Also, educate your child on what information, appropriate and inappropriate, to post online. It's important for them to be informed. Take the time to explain the consequences to breaking your newly founded Internet-use rules or what it means to write bad things about other people online.
5. Be supportive
   Always make sure your child knows that he or she can come to you and not feel ashamed. You must help your child learn to handle difficult situations in life.
6. Take cyber-bullying very seriously
   Take any and all threats seriously. If your child is being bullied, or becomes a bully, you must work to solve the problem as quickly as possible.
7. Never escalate
   Do not respond to threats, and teach your children never to respond to threats over the Internet. Responding only fuels the bully’s fire and escalates the situation. Remember to document any threats as evidence you can use and, by not responding, you make sure they have nothing to hold against you.

8. Get help
   Know where to get help. If you know the parents of the child who is threatening yours, it may be best to start there. Make sure you're saving copies of what is being posted in order to share it with them or even with law enforcement if necessary. If you choose not to contact the parents, you can try to directly contact the Web site the other person is using to send any threats. Again - save screenshots.

   If it's serious, and you have no other options, then you may need to call in law enforcement. However you should first evaluate the situation and know in advance that the other person and their parents are headed for some very serious trouble once law enforcement becomes involved. There are some very aggressive laws in place these days regarding threats online. Don't get us wrong - it's a very serious matter. However, I'm just saying use your head before you act. Start with the parents of the other child and the Web site that they're using. Then move forward from there. The goal is to protect your child and stop the situation before it gets out of hand.

   If it’s a school related threat, it’s always smart to contact a principal or school administration. They have ways of dealing with the situation before it may be necessary to contact the police.

9. Know your child
   Communication between you and your child is key. Children usually show outward signs when they are being bullied or if they are a bully. Learn to recognize if there is something wrong with your child in order to catch the problem early.
10. Go outside
    Encouraging your child to find safe things to do online is very important. Encouraging them to find things to do outside is even more important. Get them engaged in activities that replace their need for online social networking like sports, clubs etc.

While it's true there are risks involved with being online, it is also true there are rewards that outweigh the risks. Most would agree that to restrict a child from being online would be a "cure" that's worse than the problem itself. However, in order to utilize the myriad social and educational opportunities that the Web offers, one must be aware of how to manage the risks. Doing so is a matter of teaching and applying common sense in the same way that we do throughout our lives. While our primary goals should always lean toward safety first, our long term objectives must be to prepare our young minds for the exciting and challenging world that lies ahead within a wholesome learning environment that's realistic.